Newspaper Assignment 2- Missing Persons Report

January 15th, 2009- MISSING PERSONS REPORT
By Woodpecker

Two Blogspot men have been reported missing according to local police. Omphuss and Michael’s Mom, missing since December 24th, were last seen arguing after the “I don’t think I love him, but I’m willing to spend the entire weekend finding out” conference held in Berkley. Relatives really aren’t worried and friends are pretty much glad they are gone; however life insurance policies can’t be cashed in until their whereabouts are confirmed.


Officials absolutely expect foul play as both men had numerous enemies. “I’m not surprised they’re missing. They annoyed most people they met and of course there was the sheep scandal as well”, said Woodpecker, an associate of both men. “I’d like to see them found though, I think they owe me money.”

At least one report suggests the men fled the country after they realized their creative contributions to a mostly unread blog where woefully insufficient. Further evidence to that report is a long history of unfinished projects and whimsical half-done’s by Michael’s Mom. “Michael’s Mom was pretty pathetic, but I did enjoy that Omphuss guy,” said Enar, the blog’s lone reader. “I’m kind of hoping one of them is dead so I can rise in the ranks from commenter to contributor.”

Anyone with information on the whereabouts of either man is asked to please keep the information to themselves until insurance monies can be collected and wives can remarry.